2 Many Tapes

I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna stop smoking and drinking the whole week to study for that test/make my essay/finish that project at work/get earlier to work/wake up earlier/save some money/stop forgetting things/stop losing stuff/stop hitting my car everywhere/stop coughing all the fucking time/clean my house/insert whatever reason here.

The very moment you say this to yourself something immediately makes you pay attention to what happens around. Your cellphone ring, your computer makes bling, the doorbell rings, someone is honking without mercy in front of your house, you get out of work hiding from everyone and someone steps in front of you in the lobby and goes on about every fucking employee on the shift going to a bar or somewhere's place right fucking now and it's gonna be the best fucking party ever.

Not forgetting to mention that you're counting with a little help to take the so cherished 'vacation'. It's a little hard to go and get your 'relief', and the lazyness you feel when you're thinking about having to go get it every two days kinda helps you stay on your house and do whatever the fuck you need to do to be functional.

You breath deeply and answer the guy, "OK, fuck it, let's go", thinking to yourself, "It's alright, just today, it'll be a farewell, I'll start fresh on monday". You made your rationalization for the day, your conscience accept this bullshit you just came up with, and you start feeling more at ease.

The time you get at the place and you sit, everybody around start showing how kind they are to you...

"Hey, I got pot."

"Hey, I just got a shitload of pot, you want some?"

"You want some pot?"

"You want some pot?"

"You want some pot?"

"HEY ARE YOU DEAF? YOU WANT SOME POT?"

"Hey! POT!"

"POT! POT! POT! POT! POT!!!"

"Hey! Big guy! YOU WANNA EAT SOME FUCKING POT?!?!?!"

You look in awe to all that abundance. You literally stand up and shout "ABUNDANCE!!!!!". Until you wake up in some fucking living room looking at the ceeling and asking "WHY GOD? WHY?!?! I FUCKING BELIEVE IN YOU MAN!!!".

I don't blame my friends. They are truly amazing. But really, I can't shake up the feeling that someone is using them. To screw with my mind.

To you believers out there, I don't give a fuck who it is. I'm just bringing up the fact that it happens.

"You lack personality and will to say NO, my friend". Oh really?!?! I'm just gonna pretend you didn't think that.

I'm at work, expressing my self to a friend of mine, "Man, I gotta stop for a while, I don't feel my head is working properly, you know." and he says "I've been telling myself just that for 17 years now."

Yeah. Thanks for the heads up.

I'm with the theory that if you stopped drinking before 30, you didn't really drink. And if you became in fact successful before that time, you are in fact cheating.

You're competing with a whole lot of high and drunken people. No wonder you're getting ahead.

Fuck it. I'm going home. Sleep it off once more.